Flora Dora Cuttle (a.k.a. Ann Alford) Ship's Purser and Disciplinarian... She can slap you down with just a look, trust me... And for some reason (damn me, if I know) she demands to be addressed as "Your Majesty"... |
Grace O'Malley (a.k.a. Robin Flanagan) Captain of our good ship, The Crimson Tide. If you want to know how the ship got her name... Well, she used to have an all female crew and they all 'cycled' at the same time and... well, you get the idea. |
John Barleymash (a.k.a. Don Kilcoyne) 1st Mate and unlicensed alcohol distiller... Barleymash can make liquor out
of anything - his 'barnacle beer' has to be tasted to be believed. |
Caitlin 'Cat' O'Ninetails (a.k.a. Kelly Kilcoyne) Ship's Historian... Caitlin thought that she was signing on for a 'pleasure cruise'... She's still waiting for breakfast to be served on the Lido Deck. |
Rebecca 'Rosie' Rumbottom (a.k.a Karen O'Hara) Ship's Foundry, Cannoneer and Munitions Expert... When we say that she's a 'little spitfire' - we really mean it. |
Jack 'Mad Dog' Daniels (a.k.a. Dan O'Driscoll) It's very confusing because Jack thinks that he's the captain of the ship...
But, it doesn't matter because no one pays any attention to him anyway. |
Doctor 'Crossbones' McCoy (a.k.a. Lionel Ruland) - Ship's Sturgeon...uh, I mean 'Surgeon'... Doctor McCoy's remedy for every ailment suffered by the crew is limb amputation. Consequently, our crew is always in excellent health! |
Tom 'Tiny' Collins (a.k.a. Jared Hoffert) Ship's Boatswain and Mixologist... Tom's specialty is tropical fruit drinks - but, we keep on getting splinters from those little wooden parasols he hides in 'em... |
CURRENT SHIP'S CREW |
Julie McCoy (a.k.a. Bevan Ruland) Ship's Cruise Director... Julie is responsible for organizing our boarding parties (she provides the Chinese lanterns and cocktail napkins)... She also sells our CDs to unsuspecting patrons. |
'Iron' Jack Burke (a.k.a. Alen O'Hara) Master of the (Sea) Horse and Ship's Bouncer... When he's not holding calvary drills on deck, Jack's primary duty is to keep our morale officer happy (since he's been on the job - all floggings have been self-inflicted.) |
Once upon a time... there were two rival crews from two pirate ships - The Crimson Tide was captained by Grace O'Malley with a mostly female crew. Her old nemesis was Captain Jack 'Mad Dog' Daniels of the Sea Dog - derisively called the 'Wet Puppy'. Captain Jack was always getting in the way of Grace O'Malley whenever there was a treasure to be had, a ship to be boarded, or a town to plunder. Grace O'Malley was sorely vexed with Jack and his interference. |
It's not that Jack was any good at piracy or was a threat to Grace O'Malley's 'King Crab Leg Eating Champion' record which she held for 3 consecutive years running - but he always managed to turn up just at the wrong time... spoiling a surprise attack on a Spanish galleon or blocking a quick getaway from a French port after stealing their Chantilly lace consignment for her crew. |
Now, if Grace was telling this story - She'd tell you how she hunted Jack down and blasted his ship to the bottom of the
sea!... Feeling sorry for Jack and his crew, she invited them to join
the Crimson Tide and sign the ship's articles... If you listen to Jack's side of the tale - The Sea Dog is still somewhere out there... Jack's crew was on shore leave and Jack (not wanting to miss all the fun) followed them, leaving the Sea Dog unmanned... Well, after a night of drinkin' and gamblin' and sea monkey snacks - Jack awoke from his stupor to find the Sea Dog gone from its moorings. Grace arrived with the Crimson Tide and shanghied the Sea Dog's tipsy crew. Jack had no choice but to throw in his lot with Grace... No matter whom you believe - Now, they're all one big happy... if slightly dysfunctional... pirate family! |
